Kittens, eyelashes, and meatballs

My parents are celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary today. 34 years ago today, they promised to stick it out no matter what, to stay together in sickness and in health, through happy times and through rough patches, when it felt easy and when it felt impossible. And then, do you know what they did next? They kept their promise.

Their 34th wedding anniversary means that today is also the 35th anniversary of their first kiss (how cute is that?). I’ve always loved hearing the stories of when they got together, picturing them young and in love, making a big romantic gesture like getting married on the day they had their first kiss. They met at a party in Germany. The first thing my mom noticed about my dad was how sweet he was being with some kittens. The second thing she noticed was how long his eyelashes were (I guess she had to get somewhat closer to notice that). I don’t know what my dad noticed first. Probably that my mom was loud and American (and hot, obvs). She invited him over, and he thought it was a party, so he brought meatballs, but it turned out he was the only guest at the party. They’ve been together ever since.

I always knew my parents’ marriage was special. Growing up so many of my friends had divorced parents, or parents who stayed together just for the sake of the kids (with the kids’ silent knowledge), or fathers they saw only twice a year, or two sets of everything so they could shuttle back and forth between houses. Even as a child, I somehow knew it was extraordinary, the exception to the rule rather than the rule itself, to have two parents who were happy together.

But it’s only now as an adult (or something approximating adulthood) that I understand what a truly incredible feat it is to stay married for 34 years. I used to think it was all about finding that perfect person, the person who completes you, the yin to your yang or something equally clichéd. I’m certainly no expert on what makes a marriage last (ahem), but I think it’s not so much about the right person as it is about a combination of faith and hard work: the firm belief that the marriage will be successful and the commitment to doing whatever it takes to make it. Maybe it helps to have a flexible definition of what a successful marriage is, too. Whatever the winning combination is, the Bossy folks have figured it out.

I can only hope to be so lucky in love one day, but I know that I am lucky to have been a part of their love.

Happy Anniversary, Mama and Papa Bossy!