She works hard for the money

Last week it was time for the annual company breakfast at HGO, where the General Director welcomes everyone back after the summer and tells us all about the company’s recent successes and big goals, all while we munch on breakfast tacos (oddly delicious, despite my first response to them). The Company Events Committee in charge of throwing these things always adds some kind of get-to-know-each-other game to encourage interdepartmental mingling. This year, instead of the standard “Find someone you don’t know and ask them these 5 personal and/or ridiculous questions,” we each got tagged with a “Hello, my name is…” sticker on our back as we walked in the door. Each sticker had the name of a celebrity on it, and we were supposed to ask people questions about our celebrity to figure out who it was. It was surprisingly entertaining, although I don't think I talked to a single person I didn't already know.

I helped the friend to my right (we'll call her BrandNewMiniCooperGirl for now) figure out her celebrity: “Ummm…okay, her couple name is Bennifer.” CameraMan was being equally helpful to the person in front of him: “He’s a designer…with the initials C.K.”

Of course it took me forever to figure out mine, despite multiple people chiming in with helpful hints. Annoying, considering how many times I’ve been called “smartass” and “Little Miss Smartypants.”

“Is it a movie star?”
“No, way more famous.”
“More famous than a movie star?”
“Yeah, she’s been very famous for the past 7 years.”
“Is it Laura Bush?”
“No, she's especially been famous the past 7 summers.”
“This is boring. I give up.”

My friends were getting exasperated with me. And, I think, amused to see my true (not so bright) colors.

“What is your current obsession?”
“Photography.”
“What is your current online obsession?”
“Uh, Facebook?”
“No! Okay, okay, what would you do if you couldn’t be a stage director?”
“What? I have no idea.”
“If you could have any other career, what would it be?”

I was stumped. I couldn’t think of any other career I would want. Just then The Intern from Wisconsin came up, singing “Dum da da dum da dum dum…” It was the theme music from the Harry Potter movies. I still didn’t get it.

“I’m…Harry Potter?”
“Aargh. Before there were the movies, what else were there?”

*LONG DRAWN-OUT PAUSE AS I REALIZE WHAT AN IDIOT I AM*

“I’m J.K. Rowling!”

Apparently, if I wasn’t a stage director, I’d be writing fantasy novels. Who knew?

Other recent highlights from work:

• Amidst the mixture of French, Italian, and Spanish being spoken in our rehearsal room, the director used the English word travestite [sic] 4 times on the first day of rehearsal. Good times.
• Today I was cold in my sundress, so I went to the parking garage to get a jacket from my car. The only thing I had was a blazer, so I tried it on and looked at my reflection in the car window to see whether it worked with the dress. From across the garage came a voice: “You look great! You don’t need to check!” Yes, folks, today was the day I got busted by a total stranger for being vain.

9 days until my birthday. Seriously.