E-i-e-i-o

My particular skill set suits me perfectly to my job. I have almost infinite patience, the ability to remember many seemingly insignificant details at once, and quick reflexes in a crisis. Yeah, yeah, fantastic, but my most important skill when the team is feeling low, when we're on dinner break gearing up for a long night, when everyone needs a little boost? This is when I break out the big guns: animal impressions.

I don't have a wide range. Only two, really. I warm up the crowd with an entertaining fish face, and then I sock it to 'em with the disturbingly hilarious goat face. Now, I know this post is crying out for visual aids. You can give up right away on seeing the goat face. My face contorted into imitating a goat is, no joke, the least attractive that I will ever look (so much so that Nathan forbade me from ever doing it in his presence again), and there's no need to put that out on the internet. If you need to see ugly, you can go here. I can't remember when I started the goat face. I think it was in high school, but it doesn't matter. It leaves my colleagues rolling in the aisles, and if my tales of virtuosic dart playing and impressive drink pounding haven't made you want to be friends with me, the chance of seeing my goat face in person should.

Still, it seems cruel to tell you about this skill, something almost indescribable, and simply say, "Guess you had to be there." So... I'm including a picture of my fish face. Keep in mind that a) I took this picture myself while holding the camera at arm's length, and b) there is actually movement associated with the face (no, I will not post a video). My mom used to do the fish face for me all the time when I was little, and then at a certain point she taught me the "secret" to keeping your cheeks expanded so that I could entertain others. It's been a big hit since I started pulling it out at dinner parties, but it's best combined in a 1-2 punch with the goat face.

I broke out the fish and the goat on dinner break before last night's tech. That rehearsal went so well it ended over an hour early. Coincidence? I think not.