Dites-moi, pourquoi

I can't believe I'm on Day 28 of my month-long "Blog Every Day Even If It Kills Me Slowly And Painfully" project. What on earth will you do when you can't depend on reading Little Ms. Bossy every single day? Have no fear, the project has had exactly the effect I was hoping for (but didn't believe would actually happen), and writing has become a habit for me. I will probably continue to blog most days, especially when I'm off having fantastic European adventures.

Despite how much I enjoy writing, there are days when I have difficulty getting inspired to blog. You can recognize those days, I'm sure. Often they turn into List Days or descriptions of my mundane activities for the day. Sometimes it helps me to read others' writing, though. Today I was inspired by reading Yankeediva, who asked her readers why/how music touches them, and Grecchinois, who tackled the question of why he has made a career as a singer. It seemed like a sign that I should perhaps address the question of why I have chosen to be a director. The question always comes up in interviews, so over the years I've developed a pat explanation of sorts, but it's a question that deserves more than a simple answer.

I think I could write a dissertation on why I love directing, even though it's almost too nebulous a thing to pin down. I feel more vital and alive when I am directing than I do at any other time. I love that it comes naturally to me, while still challenging me in every rehearsal. The collaborative aspect of directing is exciting for me as well. Besides the obvious collaboration between directors and designers (of which I've had only limited experience), the relationship between directors and singers is complex and satisfying when it is truly a collaboration. The life of a director may be a solitary one, but it's not a career for the socially inept. A good director has to be able to really see her singers, in order to help them be the best they can possibly be onstage. You get to know people in a whole new way (for better or for worse) when you direct them, and I think when it goes right you can create deep connections. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but even as an assistant, there is rarely anywhere I would rather be than in rehearsal. I can be having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but after a 3-hour rehearsal I am energized and inspired more often than not.

I've known for most of my life that I needed to make a career in the performing arts. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I suppose, depending on how you look at it), when I see an opera or a play, I find it impossible to shut off the critical director's voice in my head, so I'm constantly evaluating and judging production values and performances. I can't help it. There are moments onstage, though, and sometimes even whole productions, that move me and inspire me and make me want to be not just a better director, but a better person. No matter how many times it happens, it surprises me every time how much art can change us. My life has been shaped immeasurably by nights at the theatre, and to have the privilege to shape others' lives in that way is so great that I'm always amazed by people who don't want to make a life in the arts.

I better sign off before this actually does become dissertation-length. Turns out it wasn't so hard to think of something to blog about after all. Tonight I'm off to dinner with the Wolf Trappers, including two fellow bloggers, who already joined me today in the viewing booth for Act II of Daughter (happy family reunions onstage and off).