Filing a complaint

Dear Weather Gods,

It may seem like hubris to complain about the weather here in Houston when Mom and Pop Bossy have been snowed in all week in Oregon and the upper Midwest is getting some kind of blizzard tonight, but still, I have to ask…what the hell are you doing up there?

Twice in as many weeks we've been forced to turn on both the heat and the air conditioning on the same day. We've flip-flopped from 78° highs to 30° lows. As I write this, the humidity is 93% and I'm sweating in my short-sleeved shirt. A few days ago, I was wearing my new Thinsulate-lined coat and wishing I'd brought my earmuffs. I've been looking forward to ice skating in Discovery Green since it opened, but when we went there Wednesday evening, the fog was so dense it made my jacket wet and there were puddles of water on the ice. Instead of skating, we went inside for mojitos.

And I assume it's no coincidence that it snowed in Houston for the first time in four years on the one night we were out of town in Dallas, and then snowed in Las Vegas in the heaviest snowfall since ’79 less than a week before we arrive there. I wasn't even dreaming of a white Christmas, but I still don't like being taunted with it. If this is your idea of a joke, I can tell you one thing.

I'm not laughing.

Sincerely,
Humid in Houston