Maria & Steve • February 13, 1993

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
February 13, 1993


What do you remember most from your wedding?
Maria: Our photographer told the women that if we held our bouquets down below our waists, we would look thinner. We forgot to pay the guy who played piano for our reception and he came to our apartment that night to get paid. I guess he couldn't wait until Monday. The pastor who officiated was a singer in college and he sang every hymn with incredible gusto. 

Steve: I was expecting one of those Hollywood “speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace” moments. It never came.


What is your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?
Maria: It can be HARD to live with someone else and I think figuring out your daily living is a key to being happy together. Think about it, when you get move in with someone, you’re merging your household with someone who grew up with different expectations, routines and, let’s face it, varying levels of housekeeping standards. Love does not conquer all in the “keeping house” department. Maybe your spouse doesn’t see that the dishwasher needs to be emptied, or perhaps one of you leaves their clothes all over the bedroom floor – the logistics of running a household can generate a lot of marital strife. We can (and should) expect each of us to share in the daily work of living together, but we can’t expect our spouse to live exactly like we do. They’re not going to. So, decide what you’re both willing to let go of – it’s a lot nicer to live with someone if you’re not constantly keeping track of all the stuff that drives you crazy.

And, yes, I leave my clothes all over our bedroom floor—I'm working on it. And Steve is actually pretty good at emptying the dishwasher but he does leave empty cereal boxes on the counter all the time (a habit he easily passed on to our two children).

Steve: Continue to be amazed and entertained by your spouse. Over time it’s easy to become complacent. But, she is most likely the same amazing, entertaining person she once was—plus, she’ll continue to bring new things to the table.

Hold each other up. No matter what. You will appreciate your spouse on a whole new level once they’ve supported you through your personal trials.

Kids (if you have them) are wonderful. They are important. And, stressful. Don’t overlook your relationship when kid stresses take the forefront.


Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Steve: Maria is right.

Maria: We were nineteen when we got married, still in college, and on the verge of becoming very young parents. We were scared out of our minds (and rightly so). I wish I knew then how happy I am now—that all the work and uncertainty is completely worth it. I absolutely adore Steve and I am amazed by him. I think he is a fantastic partner in life, an excellent father and pretty darn sexy. We're pretty good together. When we got married, I knew all this was possible, but, at the time, I just couldn’t see how we would get there. All the stuff Steve wrote above? It’s true and it works for us.

Steve: See? Maria is right.