Conjunction Junction

If this was an anonymous blog, I would fill this space with hilarious work stories, tales of my love life, and overindulgements of my numerous neuroses.
But it's not, so I won't.

If I was traveling, I would have lots to write about, and pictures for every story.
But I'm not, so I don't.

If I wasn't such a snob, I might write long posts waxing poetic about my cat, who gets more adorable every day.
But I am, so I won't.

If I knew what I was doing this summer, I could fill you in on all the details, at great length and with frequent parenthetical qualifiers (as you've come to expect from me).
But I don't, so I can't.

If a certain contract had arrived in the mail, I would share some good news with you.
But it hasn't, so I shouldn't.

If I had been working incredibly long hours and overexerting myself all in the name of opera, I would have a good excuse for not writing more often.
But I haven't, so I don't.

If I was more creative, I would have thought of a more interesting post than this.
But I'm not, so I didn't.