Road trip

Texas is trucks and tow hitches, strip malls and speed traps.

Louisiana is long bridges and trees growing in water, casinos and crawfish, Anglicized French names and Frenchified English names.

Mississippi is wildflowers and tall trees crowding the road, miles and miles with no towns.

Alabama is exactly the same as Mississippi. EXACTLY. They might as well call it Alassippi. Or Missibbamma.

Georgia is rolling green hills and curves, a pass-through on the way to somewhere else.

Tennessee is valleys and cliffs, slow semis passing slower semis on steep inclines, detours and cities ending with -ville, lower temperatures and lower speed limits.

Virginia is state troopers around every bend, fields and farmhouses, small towns with town slogans, sweeping vistas in every direction.

America is billboards and fast food and U-Haul and truck stops and Cracker Barrel.