A day to remember

Within 5 minutes of meeting Grandma Bossy, she will invariably ask you when your birthday is. She will then go through the extensive birthday calendar IN HER HEAD, and tell you who in her extended network of family and friends has the same birthday. Failing that, you will usually get at least 2 people whose birthdays surround yours. It's uncanny.

I don't have nearly her total recall when it comes to dates, but I do have a tendency to keep track of milestones (as you may have noticed), particularly in relationships. First date, first kiss, first everything. I even like to acknowledge them, not just yearly, but monthly, too: luniversaries.

Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out a way to turn off this habit when it comes to past relationships, and so today I am stuck remembering that this would have been my wedding anniversary. Starting this year, it's my noniversary. If I were as wise and grown-up as I pretend to be, I would probably draw some inspirational conclusion from the passing of the day. Something about every experience making me a stronger and better person, or about examining the mistakes in my past to guarantee I don't repeat them, or maybe even some cliché involving a door and a window. I'd like to wrap up that way, but mainly I'm just sad, and far too introspective. I'm worried that I will never be free of this baggage, that I'll never work up the courage to take the plunge again, that I'll never trust myself again with the word "forever." I'm worried.

To mark the occasion, I spent the morning at the zoo, and the afternoon weeping. Tomorrow it will be over, and I'll move on to another milestone: it's the Army Brat's birthday, all the way across the ocean in the Netherlands. I'm looking forward to the year that August 26 comes around and I realize I have completely passed my noniversary by without remembering.

And in case you're wondering, I share a birthday with Aunt Bossy, my hairdresser, and 2 coloratura sopranos (that I know of). Plus, approximately 40% of my friends' birthdays are within a 2-week radius of mine. What can I say, we Libras love the arts.