Home on the Road: Erin Morley

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

© Wesley Johnson

I'm delighted to bring back the Home on the Road series, which has provided me so much comfort whenever I'm tempted to shake my fist at the sky screaming, "Where are all the role models????" (which is fairly regularly).

I first met soprano Erin Morley way back (cough, cough) years ago at Wolf Trap, and she is having much-deserved huge successes all over the world. She just finished up a run of Konstanze in Abduction in Paris, and now she's in rehearsals for Gilda in a new Rigoletto here in Vienna (lucky us!).

I'm so happy Erin agreed to chat about how she's handling life on the road, traveling with a 3-year-old, and keeping her marriage strong. Enjoy!


LMB: Can you give me a few stats: how long you've been on the road, how much you've been at home in the last 12 months, how much time you've been able to spend with your husband John during that time?

EM: I've been singing professionally (i.e., out of a young artist program) for about 4 years now. New Haven, CT, is home for us; in the calendar year of 2014, I will have been there for 3 months total. This year is actually the most I've ever traveled, and I've been planning for this year for quite some time. I'm quite lucky in my family situation right now. My daughter Maria is 3, so she's able to be with me all the time. My husband John is a professor at Yale Law School, and was able to arrange his teaching schedule in various ways that allowed him to travel with me for much of this year. We've spent only two months without John this year. (THANK YOU, YALE.)


LMB: Do you have any stuff you always bring with you to make your temporary home feel more like a real one? Or any special routines to help you acclimate quickly in a new place?

EM: Family calendar, refrigerator photo magnets, Maria's blanket, and $5 Home Depot paper blackout blinds for Maria's room . . . What's far more important than these things, however, is maintaining schedule and family time. We read scriptures together as a family, we pray together as a family, we eat dinner together when possible. When we do these things, it feels like home.


LMB: What special things do you do to get Maria acclimated to a new place, before you leave home or once you've arrived?

EM: We try to focus on the positive aspects of an ever-changing environment, and we make absolutely sure that some things in her life are never-changing.

For instance, we talk to Maria about the city we're going to see, starting several weeks before leaving. We talk about special things she might like to see there (and show her pictures), and people she might get to meet there. We've tried to condition her to love all people and not be afraid to befriend them (although she seems to have come to this earth that way anyway!), and to like new experiences, new apartments, new places.

But we also emphasize the things that can and should be constant for her. Most important to me is that she always knows and feels that her parents love each other, and love her. This requires a certain amount of attention on the marriage. Date night every week, and regular emotional check-ins. Also very important to me is a consistent sleep schedule and general time organization within the family unit. I try to arrive in a drastically different time zone at least 3 days before my work starts, so that I can help Maria get over jet lag, help orient the family, have a chance to feel settled and secure before work sets in and my energy is required there. The faster we can adjust to a new time zone as a family, the easier it is on everyone.


LMB: Your family is such a beautiful example of really doing it all: 2 major careers, a child, a strong marriage. Do you think you've found that elusive work/life balance? What has helped you guys in making it all work?

EM: The work/life balance is a lifelong quest, to be sure. Our situation is constantly evolving, especially as our daughter gets older. Planning for these trips takes an enormous amount of time and organization. When I accept a job, I consider a million different factors. Besides voice and career considerations, John's needs, Maria's needs, childcare situation, time away from home, etc . . . all of these things come into play. John may need to talk to Yale about a leave of absence, or pushing the year's teaching into one semester rather than two. If he can't leave, we look at his schedule very carefully to make sure he can visit often enough. On rare occasions, I've decided to leave Maria home with John and nanny because it's better for everyone, but those periods must remain short. Relationships must be maintained, or the balance is upset.

In my opinion, the biggest factors to a successful balance in a situation like this are your choice of spouse and your choice of nanny. This is the "team." I must sing the praises of my husband for a moment, because he has supported my goals from the moment he met me. He has been an incredible partner. On those occasions when I have to travel without him, I feel his absence acutely. He bears a large part of the parenting load, he cooks dinner almost every night, and he also maintains his own high-pressure career.

However! Odd as it may seem, the nanny truly sits at the top of the food chain! We have a saying in our house: "If nanny's happy, everyone's happy." We make sure to provide our nanny with time off, social opportunities, and the tools to have a life outside of our family. We also require a lot of her within the job. She must bring a positive energy to the house, and we need to be able to trust her and rely on her with no doubts.


LMB: I am the absolute worst at packing, and I don't even have kid stuff to pack. How do you pack for several months away? Any helpful tips?

EM: My best tip for packing for long trips with kids: Start thinking about it at least two weeks before you leave. There is so much to prepare. My second best tip: Take a round of antibiotics with you.


LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home most of the time. How have you made peace with that? What makes it worthwhile for you?

EM: I've not yet had to confront the prospect of traveling for long periods of time without my family. I've thought about what we might do in the future, but I have to take things one step at a time. For now, I'm quite satisfied with the situation I have. It's of the utmost importance to me to have balance in my life. Being a mother and a singer. I need to be both. Both of those occupations are in my DNA; I feel like I'm meant to be both. This is where I find the peace.

It's absolutely true that both occupations are full-time, and so by definition, I spend less energy on my job than I'd like, and I spend less energy on my family than I'd like. However, the benefits to my family are greater when I'm singing: mom is happy and balanced, my family gets to see the world, Maria is having a very unique international education . . . Likewise, the benefits to my singing are greater since I became a mother: I don't have time to obsess over my job like I used to, I'm physically more active, I have a whole team to support me (and distract me when needed!) on the road, and I have a rich pool of experience to draw from. When Maria was born, it was such a beautiful change in our lives that I found myself saying, "Being a parent is the secret to life!" Now I never let myself believe that my career is more important than my family. And if I start to toe that line, Maria brings me back down to earth. :)

Traveling and not being able to be in your comfort zone, it makes you appreciate what you *really* need to be happy. For us, that's being together, nourishing the marriage, having a very reliable and full-time nanny, having a place of worship (we're Mormon, so this is pretty easy anywhere in the world), forming relationships with colleagues and friends from church, those are the things that keep the peace.


LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

EM: Organize your time. Don't try to be a mom and a singer during the same hours of the day. This is when guilt takes over, and everything suffers. Maria is out of the room when I'm practicing. Likewise, I don't answer my emails or look at my music when I'm "momming". ;)

John, Maria, and Erin

Maria and Erin in the Met dressing room during Rosenkavalier

Many thanks to Erin! It's so inspirational to hear how people in our business are making this crazy lifestyle work. You can find out more about Erin at www.erinmorley.com and follow her on Facebook for updates.

Home on the Road: Anthony Roth Costanzo

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

Photo by Matthu Placek

I'm so very pleased to present a new Home on the Road with countertenor Anthony Roth Costanzo. I first worked with Anthony during his Met debut last season in Rodelinda, and it's no exaggeration to say that he is delightful in every way. Besides being immensely talented, he is a supportive and engaged colleague and one of those magical people who specialize in bringing people together.

Anthony started traveling for work when he was still a child, and he's been on the road for varying portions of time ever since. This past year he's been very happy to have work in New York, where he lives, but he was on the road for about 3 months total, shipping out to destinations such as Toronto, San Francisco, North Carolina, and Beijing (where he won 1st prize at Operalia!).


LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make your temporary home feel more like a real one? Or any special routines to help you acclimate quickly in a new place?

ARC: I remember when I had just turned 18, I went to visit a friend of mine who was making a movie in Paris. She had been making movies since she was a little girl and had developed a strategy to make the various apartments and hotel rooms feel like home. When I walked in the door, I saw that she had draped colorful scarves over all the lamp shades. Confronted with my quizzical gaze, she explained that she brought the scarves with her all over the world and draped them over lamps, chairs, and sometimes hotel art to make any room feel more like home. I thought to myself that if I ever had a career that took me around the world, I would develop a comparable routine. Alas, no decorative scarves have entered my routine. However, for years I have been bringing portable speakers with me on the road to play music from my iPod, phone, or computer. I find that after a long day of rehearsal, or on the night before a performance, I can create a familiar atmosphere by filling a room with Ella Fitzgerald or Terri Gross. 

I have also learned that it is very important to always unpack my suitcase. This sounds extremely basic, but when we pop from place to place, it can be tempting to leave things folded inside a suitcase and shut it in the closet. Who wants to take the time to unpack after a long day of travel anyway? But when I force myself to put underwear in a drawer or shirts on hangers before I go to bed, I wake up feeling much more acclimated. Similarly, whenever I arrive home, I always put every article in the suitcase in its proper place immediately. Even (and especially) if I'm just home for a few days, I find that it is psychologically very important to feel completely settled, as if I'd been home for many months. 

LMB: You once told me you have a great system for packing for a gig. Will you share it?

ARC: I think you may be referring to my absolutely ridiculous and lazy system for packing for a gig. I sometimes lay out all the shirts, jackets, suits, and pants I want to bring on my bed, each on their respective hanger. I fold the whole stack in thirds and shove the pile into a duffle bag, hangers and all. The hangers are of course heavy and take up a lot of space. However, the advantage of this system is that there is NO ACTUAL FOLDING involved. If I had to fold all of those things individually it would take me the better part of a day (I may or may not be an OCD folder). When I arrive at my destination, I unzip the suitcase, hook my finger into the curve of the hangers and with one fell swoop, I am unpacked. I also find creases resulting from a letter-fold of the whole pile are much easier to get rid of then the creases that result from a bunch of stacked, folded-up clothing that has been compressed for hours on end. 

LMB: You are amazing at meeting people and making friends. Any tips on how you do it when you're away from home and in unfamiliar surroundings?

ARC: While I think it's always fun to find kinship with colleagues, I often try to meet new and interesting people in other fields and walks of life as well. One of the joys of traveling for work so often is discovering the soul of many cities and towns and the characters that inhabit them. Once, I was singing in Turin, Italy, and as I walked home from rehearsal one night, I was humming an ornament to myself. An old, ragged-looking man stopped me to say how much he liked what I was humming. As a New Yorker, my instinct was to keep going and pay him no heed, but he seemed respectful and had a certain authenticity that made me stop and chat. He told me singing was his job as well—in fact, he demonstrated for me how he sang full-throated Italian folk “jingles” in order to sell his wares at the local market. His songs and way of singing them made him the most popular merchant in the square. In Beijing, I encountered a PhD student on the street who studied Chinese history, and who gave me a fascinating tour of the Forbidden City which culminated in meeting the only living descendant of the last emperor. 

I'm as shy as anyone so I have to sometimes force myself to leave the hotel, find an interesting film screening, poetry slam, dessert tasting, antique store, etc. Once I arrive somewhere new I always make an effort to engage strangers about their town and their lives. It takes a good mix of intuition and perseverance to meet the interesting people (I have about a one in ten ratio), but if I stick to the task, I have been known to find some fascinating new friends who can show me the best a city has to offer. 

LMB: You started out performing and traveling for work when you were very young. Are there things you learned early on that have stuck with you and help you in your career today?

ARC: When I was 11 I went on my first Broadway National tour, and I remember that I always used to look forward to “Travel Mondays.” Traveling with a company frequently made flying seem fun, and the occasional bus trip (sometimes in a thirteen-bunk sleeper bus with Marie Osmond and her family), a blast. I have tried to maintain that boyish zeal for the often grueling process of travel. When I was on the road as a kid, it used to take us forever to get through ticketing and security because we traveled in such large groups. One upside of this, which I try to replicate even today, is walking slowly. While this sounds crazy, I find that the faster I have to run to the gate, track, bus, or taxi, the more wiped out I am when I arrive at my destination. I also try to make the process of traveling as fun as it was when I was young by thinking of it as a mini-vacation. Instead of working on a plane, I take that time to read or watch movies. If I had 8 hours to sit at home, I would spend 6 of them accomplishing things, but during travel I can just loaf, which often relaxes me enough to counteract any other negative effects travel may have. 

LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. How have you made peace with that? What makes it worthwhile for you?

ARC: More than anything, I truly love the work I'm doing and most of the time it makes leaving home feel like a privilege rather than a chore. I remember hearing mentors at conservatory telling the students, “If you don't have to be an opera singer, don't be one because it's a lot of hassle.” I found that I have to be an opera singer, and thus any discomfort seems secondary. I love the feeling of returning home, rediscovering my house (I find my bedroom looks alternately bigger or smaller depending on how long I've been away), reconnecting with my friends, and trading the stimulation of new experience for the comfort of familiarity. Yet I've also come to enjoy the constant yo-yo between stretching myself to acclimate to new environments and challenges, and being grounded in the atmosphere where I know myself best. 

It can get lonely on the road, and so I have started encouraging friends to come visit me. Often, I save money with weeks of free housing or per diem, and I will often set a little bit of this aside as an import budget. I have been known to buy family and friends who otherwise wouldn't be able to come visit me a plane or bus ticket, and this can completely change my experience of a city. Finally, with each show I do, I find I know more and more colleagues. I have a feeling that the deeper I go into this career, the smaller the circle gets, and before too long, I will have old friends everywhere I go. 

LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

ARC: Perhaps this doesn't exactly pertain to the subject at hand, but there is an important piece of advice I got at a crucial juncture: “say something.” As singers, we can get so fixated on our voice, on our physical condition, on whether or not we know our cadenza, on the fact that the conductor has taken an extremely fast tempo, on the doorknob that has just fallen off the door you are supposed to open in front of 4,000 people. But the seeming importance of these things in the moment is dwarfed by the larger responsibility to communicate with the audience, to make them feel something if only for an instant. Traveling around the world diversifies our experience in a very unique way that can often translate into an enriched capacity for expression. When I arrive in a new city, I often have to find myself all over again, and sometimes this means stepping outside my comfort zone. Taking these risks in my life spurs me on to take risks on the stage and create more layered and complex portrayals of characters that frequently are unfathomable to begin with. The challenges, successes, and failures of of this career can only help give us something to say. 

Thank you so much, Anthony! You can find out more about him on his website: www.anthonyrothcostanzo.com. You can also read about him in Opera News—he was featured on the cover last month!

Home on the Road: Ryan McKinny

Boy, it's been a long time since I posted a Home on the Road feature, and it's not because I've got living on the road all figured out, let me tell you. I'm still struggling with the packing, and the settling in, and the phone calls, and all the rest of it. I think it's time to call in some more experts, don't you?

I'm so excited to feature bass-baritone Ryan McKinny here. Ryan and I started working in Houston at the same time, and in the time that I have known him he has gone on to sing all over the world, all while he and his fabulous wife Tonya have grown their beautiful family. They have been based in Germany for the past 2 years, but they just bought a house in Houston (in our neighborhood, no less), so they'll be coming back stateside this summer.

Ryan has been on the road for 4 years. In the last year he spent about 9 months at home, but "home" changed once during that time. He and Tonya have never been apart for more than 2 weeks in the past 5 years (take a moment and let that sink in—it's practically unheard of in our business)!


LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make your temporary home feel more like a real one? Or any special routines to help you acclimate quickly to a new place?


RM: Not really, but I probably should.  Finding a decent grocery store is usually the first thing we do when we get to town. Then a gym. Some of that can be checked ahead of time, but finding them in person is important.




LMB: You often travel with your whole family. I'm sure there are special challenges to traveling with children. Any tips on how to make it go smoothly?


RM: This is extremely challenging and extremely rewarding. My children have been all over the United States and to six other countries. Travel days have different rules for the kids. They can eat special treats, watch shows on the DVD player, etc. So they (really the older one, Emma) get very excited about it. However, long flights can be quite difficult. Sometimes you have to realize that they are children and occasionally scream, and if people give you dirty looks it's only because they don't have kids and don't have the slightest clue of what it's like. We try our best and our kids are generally well behaved, but everyone gets a little cranky on an airplane. As far as packing, we try not to bring too many toys because they really can play with anything. But they do get to bring a special stuffed animal and a book or two and a few small toys so that it feels like home. The thing that has become super important is finding activities and planning them ahead of time. The internet is our best friend. We are pretty digitized. If we didn't have laptops, iPad, and iPhones we would be lost.




LMB: How has life changed since you moved the family to Berlin? Are you finding it easier/more difficult to navigate your career and your life on the other side of the ocean?


RM: The biggest initial hurdle was the language. My German has gotten a lot better over the last year to the point where now I would say I “speak German” though maybe not “fluently” just yet. My five year old daughter speaks fluent German now after having spent several months in a German kindergarten, which I find completely mind-blowing. It's also culturally much different and you can feel isolated from the world. We have made lots of expat friends, though, and that has made it feel nearly like home. We love Berlin as a city and we love our apartment there. Now two years later we are moving back to Houston, but being in Germany for two years have been very rewarding. We will miss it when we leave, but such is the life.




LMB: I'm always looking for advice on how to make a relationship/marriage work despite spending time apart. How do you and Tonya make it work when you're not together?


RM: I am the luckiest man I know in this department. I have a truly amazing wife. From the beginning of our relationship we decided that we would put each other first. She is more important to me than anything (including music) and I am the most important thing to her. We communicate about everything, always, and we do it in as gentle a way as we can. We decided early on that we would travel together. That means that she is a full time mother and does not have a paying job. This has been a major sacrifice on her part, but one that she is happy with, and one that I try to honor. We have seen relationships in both our families and many of our friends fall apart, and I don't think this has anything to do with one's career choice. Relationships are hard work to sustain, and you have to learn to love that work. People continue to change their whole lives if they're lucky, and my plan is to keep getting to know the new Tonya every day.

Also, we stay faithful to each other. Seriously. In this business there are people who everyone knows are married and people who everyone knows are “married.” I'm in the first group. 

LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

RM: Making impactful art is worth it. It sounds extremely naïve, but I believe that people can walk away from an opera with a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the greater scope of humanity. Now, not every gig achieves this—in fact, it's really rare. But that's the possibility that drives me forward. If through my voice (and the voices of my colleagues, the sound of the orchestra, the drama that unfolds, etc.) someone can be moved enough that they can never go back, that is worth it. 




LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were just starting out on the road? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?


RM: Some advice I gave myself early on— Don't follow too much advice! Listen to it all and take it in, but you are responsible for your own life. If you have a crazy idea that everyone thinks is ridiculous it doesn't mean it can't be wildly successful, and likewise just because everyone says it's a good idea doesn't mean it is. Weigh your options, make your choice, never look back. Good luck.




Thank you so much to Ryan! You can find out more about him at www.ryanmckinny.com. For more on his marriage to Tonya, check out this post from my Happy Marriages I Know feature.   

Home on the Road: Katharine Goeldner

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

Photo by David Angus

I've been so looking forward to sharing the lovely mezzo-soprano Katharine Goeldner's interview with you. Katharine most recently scored a big success in Carmen at the Lyric Opera of Chicago, but in real life she is grounded, practical, and infinitely reliable. She is also my favorite expert on how to be an expat in Austria, as she's been living in Salzburg for many years.

Katharine has been freelancing on the road since 1996. This past year she was away from home even more than usual, including a 4.5-month stint away she hopes not to repeat.  Here, she expounds on the benefits of socialism, the importance of picking the right husband, and how to manage a bustling career on two continents.

LMB: You have chosen to make your home in Salzburg. What brought you there in the first place, and what made you stay? What advantages and disadvantages has being based in Europe given you?

KG: I came to Salzburg for a Master's—in short, because I couldn't afford to study in the US. Tuition at American universities is ridiculously expensive. And here, the fee is  approximately $400.00 per semester. That's it. And that's because I'm non-EU. Otherwise it would be free.

The biggest advantages of being based in Europe? Socialism. National health insurance (and yes, I can choose my doctors.) Baby leave: you are allowed up to 3 years of baby leave, split once between the parents if you like. The first two years are partially paid, and the third is not paid at all, but they have to keep your job open for you. A pension. Unemployment insurance.

Other advantages—I started singing in Austria and Germany at an age when my American colleagues were doing young artist programs (which I couldn't get into, by the way). It wasn't easy, but I learned German, how to negotiate contracts, stand up to administration, and that I could sing Evita (title role), Cherubino, and Angelina AND Tisbe (La Cenerentola) all in the same week and survive. I also learned how to jump into a production with no stage or orchestra rehearsal, which served me very well when I started singing at City Opera and the Met. (Two examples: I sang Nicklausse at the Met, my first time doing the role, with no stage or orchestra rehearsal. Same for Carmen at City Opera: only one day on stage and only a Sitzprobe with the orchestra).

Another advantage of living over here is that I have been able to establish myself on both sides of the ocean, which means that in this bad economy, I'm not dependent solely upon the US houses for work.

I should point out here, though, that there have been disadvantages as well. It took me years to get my foot in the door in the US because I hadn't worked with American coaches/teachers/young artist programs—so I was an unknown quantity. It was very difficult to even get heard in the US for a long time. Even now, I can tell that in certain houses, singers who have gone through their studio programs definitely have the advantage over me.



LMB: I'm always looking for advice on how to negotiate a relationship/marriage when you're apart for long periods of time. You've been married 22 years this summer(!), so you obviously have this figured out pretty well. Any tips?

KG: First tip: find an amazing guy. Besides that, Skype has been a godsend. We Skype everyday, and it's allowed me to watch my daughter open her birthday presents, for example. We used to have huge phone bills—just part of the deal, I figured—but Skype has changed that.

The hardest part, I think, is what I call "re-entry": coming home after so long away. You have to resist the temptation to try to make up for all that lost time and not try to be the perfect wife, mother, AND singer at the same time. It just isn't possible. Also, remember that they've gotten into their own routine while you've been gone. Give yourself a break, get over jet lag, and ease in gradually.

Because my husband already had his tenured position in the orchestra here when we met, we had the advantage that we weren't both trying to pursue jobs at the same time. I think it is very difficult to keep a relationship going when both partners are trying to establish  music careers. One partner needs to be the steady one. In all these years, I have very rarely seen a relationship with two singers work out. Our egos are just too big and the pressure, distance, and competition eventually take their toll. I'm not saying it's impossible—just that it's very, very difficult.

LMB: Your daughter is in high school now. I'm sure singers with younger kids would love to hear your advice on how you've managed to be a parent at the same time as having your career. What has made it work for you?

KG: Basically, what's made this all work for me is that I have a really amazing husband. He's also a musician—he's a bassoonist in the Mozarteum Orchestra, here in Salzburg—so he understands better than someone not in "the business," I think, what having a singing career involves.

When my daughter was born, we sort of thought I would take her with me on the road—and I did, at the beginning. But when she was 2+ and I was starting to do bigger roles, it was clear that I really only had time and energy for rehearsing, sleeping, and eating, and not much left over to take care of a child. It didn't seem fair to her to take her away from her home, her routine, and her friends and have her dealing with yet another foreign language (she was already learning German and English, and I was singing in France a lot at the time. And remember, she was only 2 and just learning to talk.) So we opted to have her stay home with Dad, and Mom being gone was the only disruption to her routine. My husband and daughter did travel to be with me for part of the time, usually in time to see my premiere. But they would stay a week, rather than the entire 4–5 weeks of a typical gig.

Once she got into middle school/high school, it became much more difficult for her to miss school, so the length of time we're apart has actually gotten longer. Plus, my husband is in the orchestra here. So we have to plan their trips around both the school and orchestra/theater schedules. We used to aim for no more than a month apart. Now that has sometimes stretched to 2 months.


LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

KG: Hmm. That's not an easy one to answer. I guess I would have to say, and I know this sounds like a cliché, but…this is what I do, this is what I am. You have to really want to do this to make it work. If there's ANYTHING you like just as much—do that instead. This career is far too difficult if you don't "have" to do it.

That said, the occasionally really great team, wonderful piece to sing, beautiful production…sometimes it all just "clicks" and you remember, "oh yeah, THIS is why I'm here!" And interestingly enough, those moments don't necessarily occur where you think they would—in the biggest houses with the "best" casts. Some of the most fun and fulfilling productions I've been a part of have been in regional houses. And some of my most disappointing artistic experiences have been in the "big" houses.

LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

KG: One of the best bits of advice I got was from my first voice teacher. She said, "Never turn down an audition and take every gig seriously. You never know who may be listening." Now, at the point I am now at in my career, no, I don't take every possible audition. But when you're starting out, you must. I see so many young American singers these days with an attitude of Entitlement. They're "too good" to take this or that audition because the house or role "isn't good/big/glamourous enough" for them. Big mistake. This business is all about Networking, and that "unimportant" gig you turned your nose up at just might have involved a young conductor or stage director who then goes on to work in a "big" house—and you've now missed a great opportunity.

Do your work, learn your music and COME PREPARED! You would think this is a no-brainer, but the level of preparation I have seen in the past 5-6 years has sometimes been appalling. I have seen far too many young singers show up for rehearsals not having their parts memorized. It's extremely disrespectful to your colleagues and it wastes our time. And it will catch up to you. You may not get fired from this job, but you can be sure they're going to remember it when you come up for consideration for the next one. 

Learn German, French, and Italian.Yesterday.

Take a business class. You're going to wish you had one when it comes to bookkeeping and taxes. Trust me on this one.

Always sing the first musical run-through and the dress rehearsal. It's your responsibility to show them that you are prepared and can sing the role. Other than that, whether or not you sing out at any given rehearsal is up to the singer—you have to get the role into your body and voice, of course. But if you're too tired or feeling like you're getting a cold, only you can judge whether or not you're in shape to sing. Don't let the conductor bully you. Because they will.

Be nice. Be humble. Don't play the diva/divo. You may think you're irreplaceable, but believe me, you're not. Even if you ARE a tenor.

A great big thank you to Katharine! You can find out much more about her at www.katharinegoeldner.com.

Home on the Road: Elise Sandell

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

Photo by Johnny Knight

It's my great pleasure to present to you Elise Sandell, stage director, better known in these pages as The New Oregonian. Elise is an incredibly creative, brave director and the person who taught me how to be a good assistant director back when I didn't really know what one did. She is unfailingly positive and sunny, brilliant, and universally loved. It is no surprise that in this interview alone she manages to fit in at least three profound, thought-provoking truths.

Elise has been on the road for nine years straight, and is currently (temporarily) a true homeless nomad, living out of a storage space and suitcases. She has directed and assisted all over the country, and right now she's in the midst of her first international gig, in Florence, Italy (where we were lucky enough to visit her and hear her speaking Italian, which she does frighteningly well).

LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make your temporary home feel more like a real one? Or any special routines to help you acclimate quickly in a new place?

ES: I like to bring photos of my friends and family and a few treasured knickknacks to make my place more cozy. Sadly, I didn't bring any of these things to Florence, because there wasn't room in the suitcase. I would be lost without my computer. The first thing I like to do when I arrive in a new place is to take a nap, and then go grocery shopping. It always feels much more like home if I know I have cereal and coffee ready for breakfast tomorrow. I really prefer to arrive in a new place around noon, so that I have time to "set up house" and get unpacked in a leisurely manner before I go to bed on the first night. To get to know a new city, I love to get lost in it. One learns much finding one's way back from being lost.


LMB: Since you fly to each job, you're forced to pack light. This is an art I am far from mastering. Any advice from a seasoned traveler?

ES: I used to carry two large suitcases everywhere, and then they started charging for luggage, so I don't do that any more. Here's my system: I have a roll-aboard that is carry-on size. In there go all the shoes, denim, jewelry, books, and anything else heavy that I can think of. Then the lighter clothing can go in the larger checked suitcase. My "personal item" is really a carry-on shoulder bag large enough to fit my laptop, two opera scores, and several books. It's a little bit of a stretch, but no airline has complained yet. (I find that an airline will let you get away with a lot if you ask with a smile on your face.) I always get completely packed, and then force myself to "jettison" five items…I'm fairly skilled at knowing what a 48-pound suitcase feels like.  If it's a longer gig, I usually ship a box as well…I should buy stock in UPS, considering how many hundreds I spend every year in shipping.

I'm also often a bike commuter, and once even brought my bike from home to Houston with me.  I don't recommend traveling with your bike on the airplane; it's so expensive, and then you have to wrestle it along with your luggage.  You'll do much better shipping it through UPS, or, better yet, renting a bike once you arrive.

LMB: You're currently in the midst of your first European gig, working in Florence. How is settling into a temporary home in a foreign country different than what you've experienced before? Are you particularly homesick for any American things or foods?

ES: Settling in here in Florence has felt a little different, for sure. I'm still working hard to be proficient in the language, so even errands like the grocery store and the post office take a little more effort. That said, it's also FUN to get to know a new country and to realize I CAN communicate in another language, even if I'm not always perfect at it. The food is great here in Florence, of course, but I would give anything for a big ol' 20 oz. coffee to take to rehearsal with me. I would probably even buy an American coffee maker, if I could find one. Don't judge. In the meantime, I drink 3 Italian coffees before I show up to rehearsal.


LMB: You first got nicknamed The New Oregonian because you had recently moved to Portland, Oregon, after a long time of having no home base at all. What brought you there, and how has it worked for you as a home base? Is it true you're moving to Chicago soon? What prompted that decision?

ES: Portland, Oregon is an amazing city, and I'm horribly homesick for them, and heartbroken to be moving away. At the time I moved there, I was assisting on two shows a year at Portland Opera, so it looked at the the time like I would get to "work at home" plenty. Additionally, I have many friends in the city, so it was a perfect fit. It works beautifully as a home base when I'm doing shorter engagements. At this time, however, I've taken another full season of work as an assistant at Lyric Opera of Chicago, so I'll be there for many months. I guess you could say I'm making the choice to "settle down" a little bit. I'm 36 years old, and I have never owned a couch, and I would like to own one. I am also hoping not to remain single for the rest of my life, and all the moving around doesn't seem to be helping in that department, either. So I'm moving to Chicago to try living and working in the same place. It's sort of an experiment.


LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

ES: I love making opera. There's VERY little I'd rather be doing. For me, all the traveling is wrapped up with the opera making. (I don't know what this means for my "moving to Chicago" experiment…I guess we'll see.) When the traveling gets tough, I try to remind myself to think of it as an adventure. And when I miss my friends and family, I remind myself to use the resources at hand: phone, e-mail, Skype, and Facebook. The truth is that I'm always far away from someone I love and miss, no matter where I am. I guess I'm lucky to have this many people to love.

LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

ES: I'm always glad when someone reminds me: "It's not all about you."

Many thanks to Elise! You can find out lots more about her on her website.

Home on the Road: Joyce DiDonato

For my second installment of Home on the Road, I'm so excited to host mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDonato. Joyce's passion for life is evident in everything she does: in her blog, in her photography, and most especially in her incredible singing. It is no exaggeration to say that she is one of the most important artists of our time, and exactly the kind of singer that is changing our field for the better, but none of that expresses just what a lovely, sunny person she is. Quite simply, to know her is to love her, and I'm so happy for you to get to know her a bit here.

Joyce has been on the road for the past 13 years, ever since she graduated from the Houston Opera Studio in 1998. During 2009, she spent a total of 33 days at home (in Kansas City), with never more than 6 consecutive days at home. She did, however, get to be with her husband (conductor Leo Vordoni) for about 2/3 of the year, which she counts as a very good year.

LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make your temporary home feel more like a real one?

JD: It sounds stupid, but every time Leo and I enter a new apartment, we say "Welcome home." It's a mind set—a total mind set. In the beginning I used to travel with picture frames and candles and all these things to try and make me feel more "at home," but that just got—well, heavy! I prefer to travel lightly when possible, or keep more space for dresses and books! But essentially if I have a working high-speed internet, this is what keeps me in touch with my loved ones and friends, and so I do feel that I can set up "home" just about anywhere. (And I'm writing this from Milan which is probably the MOST challenging city to set up a "homey feel"!!!) I do travel with my yoga mat which I try to use on a regular basis, but essentially that's it. I've learned that I'd rather spend a bit of money to stay in a nice place, because if I'm 11 months on the road, the road is truly my home, and it's important to feel safe and comfortable and be able to REST wherever I am. So a few years back I stopped trying to save $500 on housing and bumped myself up into nicer accommodations—and I have never once regretted it!


LMB: You sing a lot in Europe. How much do you try to immerse yourself in the culture of wherever you are? Are there any American things, or foods, or traditions that you can't live without, no matter where you are?

JD: I will often arrive in Europe with some peanut butter and Thomas's Whole Grain Bagels! But I do think it's very important to take advantage of learning the culture where you are and to make the best of the opportunities to try the different foods, take up the afternoon siesta routine (which is pretty fabulous!), and just get inside how a different culture functions. It was NOT easy at all for me at the beginning—I REALLY missed my creature comforts. But with time and a few repeat visits, I've learned how the markets function and that ultimately I can find anything I REALLY need. So I sort of jump into it full steam. I WILL say, however, that the thing I crave most if I've been in Europe for an extended period? MEXICAN FOOD! So the first thing I'll do in the States is get a REAL Margarita (sorry, Europe—you do many things well, but mixing a REAL margarita is NOT one of them!), and a big burrito!!!


LMB: I have not yet figured out how to pack light for a trip of several months, and I'm getting tired of shipping boxes back and forth all the time. Any advice from a seasoned traveler?

JD: Well, I know now the different cities where I'll be going, and if I can find the toiletries I like to use, or ones I can try in the different countries, I will shop for my toiletries when I get there, as those weigh a lot. I've learned that as long as I have my music, the under-garments I need (because those can be nearly impossible for me to find on the road, especially in Europe!), and the shoes I need, anything else I can find on the road, so I don't stress the little things. Any medications you may need are imperative to bring along—for us singer types, it's important that you bring all the preventative things, and a good stash of Emergen-C. I think I've over-packed for every single trip I've ever made. There is ALWAYS the shirt or dress that I never ever wear on the road, but I still pack it thinking, "you never know...." I always end up wearing the same clothes and leaving 4 or 5 pieces completely untouched, but then I'll STILL pack those unworn numbers the next time. I guess I'll never learn!


LMB: You and Leo spend so much time apart. I'll take any tips you've got on how to do that whole long-distance thing!

JD: Well, the one advantage we have is that when we met, our relationship started with us being apart, so that was how our relationship dynamic was established from the beginning. To us, it's normality. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Communication is absolutely, completely and utterly the key. Skype is a God-send. Period. It is an unbelievable gift. We make sure that when we are on the road we are in touch at LEAST once a day via Skype/telephone, but there are also the constant text messages, emails, little "thinking of you" notes that just keep us connected over the miles.

We try very hard not to be apart more than 3 weeks. Longer than 3 weeks, you've each gotten into a very independent routine, and then to come back together and have to share your space again can sometimes lead to stress or conflict. We had that a bit in the beginning, and just being able to identify that this is what is happening makes the transition back together much easier.

But I think the other immensely important factor is that you have to feel that you can thrive on your own. If you spend so much time apart, it's vital that you still grow and learn and thrive and feed your interests, so that the time apart doesn't feel like dead time while you're waiting for your partner to come home. I think both Leo and I have an ability to use the time apart productively and fruitfully so that when we reunite we have lots to share and learn from each other. So feeding yourself while you're on your own, instead of only seeing how lonely you are, I think is a big key.


LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home most of the time. How have you made peace with that? What makes it worthwhile for you?

JD: For me, it is something I have had to learn. I was rather miserable in the first years of my career. Not only was I in places where I didn't know anyone, or certainly didn't speak the language of the country, but the more poisonous thing was that I was only focusing on the things I was MISSING. All I saw was that I was away from my family, missing birthdays, missing Mexican food, craving my own bed, missing my friends—and so because my vision was full of everything I WASN'T doing, I was missing out on all the things in front of me: new friends, new cities, new languages, new cuisines, new opportunities. I started trying to switch my focus to what was in front of me, and this world began to open up. I still missed my family, yes, but I didn't spend all my waking hours thinking about that—I went about the business of living my life where I was with what was around me. This was a huge change for me—and it happened strictly in the confines of my attitude! I still struggle with missing my husband, yes—but I acknowledge it and then get my butt off the couch and go take my camera out to photograph an astonishing sculpture or monument, and then I feel productive for the day!


LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

JD: I think something people need to think about in this business is how good you have to be at being alone. It's a funny paradox, because we have to know how to function among a HUGE team of people putting together a show—and it's an extremely social, hectic, vibrant atmosphere. For singers, we have to stand on the stage and "speak" with 3,000+ people a night, and at the end of the night take all of their applause and bathe in it, but then we go home and we are alone. Mightily alone. This was, for me, the most challenging aspect of handling the career. It is the alone time that is the most difficult—and if you're not good at being on your own, it will be a very, very difficult road. So somehow you have to find a balance between the HIGH of the applause and social buzz, to the seemingly LOW of the isolation of your hotel room. I try to march a middle line—realizing that the reality of my life lies somewhere between the high and the low—because neither of those extremes is exactly real. I think if we can learn to handle those two extremes, it can be a very rewarding life!



Thanks again to Joyce for all her insights! You can find out more about Joyce at www.joycedidonato.com. And if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out my first Home on the Road feature with Kelly Kaduce.


*Photo by Sheila Rock, courtesy of Virgin Classics

Home on the Road: Kelly Kaduce

Lately it's felt like I'm in a constant dilemma about what I want to do with my life, and it's not because I don't enjoy my work. I find so much pleasure and satisfaction in it, and there are even aspects of the lifestyle that suit me very well. I haven't yet, however, quite figured out how to be happy on the road, especially when I'm away from my CameraMan and my Bossy Cat. I thought it might be illuminating to me (and maybe to you, too) to ask some people who have been doing this longer than I have: How in the world do you do it?

I'm so pleased that soprano Kelly Kaduce agreed to be my first guinea pig. First off, she's kind of a rock star (come visit me in Santa Fe, and you can see her sing the title role of Madame Butterfly!) Not only that, but she is one of the loveliest, most down-to-earth (and FUN) people I know. I think you'll enjoy her thoughtful answers. And while you're at it, you can become a fan of her on Facebook!

Kelly has been on the road singing for about 10 years. In the past 12 months, she has been at home (in Houston) for exactly 96 days, and in the same place as her husband for 137 days (which includes their time spent singing two operas together).

Forthwith, the interview:

LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make you feel more at home on the road?

KK: Besides the obvious singer things, the three constants I always bring with me are my yoga mat, my running shoes, and my Ugg slippers!

LMB: Do you have any special routines to help you acclimate quickly in a new place?

KK: I do have a routine when I arrive to a new place. I always try to arrive in the afternoon so I can take the time to unpack fully and go grocery shopping. Sometimes I find myself re-arranging so the place feels like my own or doing some cleaning. I also like to arrange my exercise routine immediately. I find if I don't set up a regimen in the first week, I won't do it at all for the duration of my stay.


LMB: I'm just about to take my cat on a plane for the first time. You travel with your adorable dog Lulu quite a bit—any advice on traveling with a pet?

KK: I have a GREAT travel bag for Lulu that is a backpack from Celltei. She has come to love it and just curls up to sleep for the duration of the travel. She also has her own little travel pack with everything she needs (Heartgard, 2 toys, brush, etc). Anything big, like her dog food, I buy when I arrive. If we have the luxury of driving to the gig, I take more things like her dog bed. I try to take her for a long walk shortly after our arrival so she can "get to know" the neighborhood. It seems like that long walk sets her at ease and we can begin the new routine for the next month or so.

One last tip...if you are flying with your pet for the first time and are unsure of how they will react, make sure you pick up some Children's Benadryl in the dye-free liquid with a dropper measurement for kids. If they start acting up and you cannot control them, you can give them half of the recommended dose for kids. This is a harmless way to encourage them to sleep during the travel.


LMB: You and your husband (baritone Lee Gregory) spend so much time apart, but you two seem to have figured out how to make it work. What's your secret?

KK: Ok, I have been asked this question a lot lately. I am not sure there is a secret key. It has certainly not always been easy nor have we been without hardships. After about 11 years together, ultimately what has worked for us is to keep no secrets. We have a little joke: if you don't want to tell your spouse something, it means you MUST. I think the difficult part of this is learning to listen without becoming defensive.


LMB: I always struggle with keeping to a workout routine when I'm away from home. You are in amazing shape—how do you maintain it?

KK: Try to find something you like enough to keep you coming back to it. I prefer Yoga and long distance running. Sometimes I throw other things in there just to get my rear end off the couch and to keep me diverted. I love yoga because it is a great de-stressor and seems to compliment the singing process. I love running because you can explore a city and it gives you a great "high". Since I know what I like to do for exercise, I look up a yoga studio before I arrive in the city.

As for running, I try to do it outside. I use a website called MapMyRun to find good paths. I also have a GPS watch that tracks my distance. If the weather is going to be cold, I bring appropriate outdoor gear (more junk in the suitcase), or try to find a treadmill somewhere. I tell you, running is my FAVORITE! I have learned the majority of my roles while running. When you are limited to the treadmill, you can do all sorts of things! I have done research on YouTube while running, worked on memorization, and I even occasionally watch movies! Basically, I have turned exercising into a hobby to do while on the road.


LMB: In order to have the kind of career you have, you have to be willing to be on the road a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

KK: I guess what makes it worthwhile for me is the community of musicians that you get to work with. I LOVE the people in the opera business. They are intelligent, interesting, bizarre, intriguing, generous, inspiring, funny....and so on. I also find great joy in putting on an opera. I love the rehearsal process and the challenges and joys that it brings. The challenge of trying to reach a perfection that is unattainable really speaks to me. Kind of like a dog chasing its own tail!

Not everything I do is great or worth mentioning, but every now and then I get a comment or a message from a person about how a performance touched them in a very personal way and then it all seems worthwhile!


LMB: And finally, give us KELLY KADUCE'S TIPS FOR SINGERS.

KK:
1. You should tip your make up artist and dresser.
2. Ladies, when you are in your big gowns with trains and need to go to the bathroom, sit down FACING the flusher!
3. Try to find out ASAP what your costume is and ask if you can get those pieces for rehearsal. (I find this very helpful if you have to sing in a corset or in some crazy shoes!)
4. Don't be defensive when you are receiving music notes or directorial notes. They aren't personal attacks. You want to be your best and everyone wants your best. It's always a collaboration.
5. When in doubt, use the Scotto defense. When given a note that you don't agree with, try this. "Ok, I try....(then do it exactly the same way)...Oh yes! This is much better!"