Buenos dias, 2012!

Tradition dictates that if we're together on New Year's Eve we stay home, play a drinking game while watching a movie, kiss at midnight, and toast to the year to come. This year we added Mama and Papa Bossy to the mix, but we kept the plan the same, watching Bridesmaids and drinking every time we heard a swear word or the word "wedding." It was a lovely relaxing way to start the new year, surrounded by my loved ones in the house that already feels like home.

It seems I'm constantly making self-improvement plans, vowing to do better and BE better, to live the life I want and enjoy every minute of it. No matter how many times plans fall through and old habits override new efforts, I am ever optimistic about my chances for success.

A friend wrote this a couple of days ago, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, especially this:

"I'm an unabashed believer in the big dream, and I believe not on faith but on evidence. Brothers and sisters, I have seen people reinvent their lives over and over again. People start businesses. People quit drinking. People get married, have children, create art, move to new cities, speak in foreign tongues, and then they throw everything in their life up in the air and try something new. They set their sights on a prize far off, and then they move. And yes, small daily steps are part of that journey. But so are the long vision, the dare, the jump off the cliff into the unknown. And so are failure and disappointment."

How right she is. Let's make some resolutions, shall we, without fear of failure. I've been lucky enough to have 2 amazing years in a row—let this year bring even more joy and fulfillment. And yes, let's identify the practical steps that will help us make our goals, but let's be sure not to lose sight of where those small steps are leading us. So, forthwith, my 2012 New Year's resolutions (and there's nothing small about them):

I resolve to make a true home in Houston.
I mean "home" in every sense of the word. I want to make our house everything we need it to be, warm and peaceful and inviting. I want to find activities and work that will keep me where CM is more of the time. I want to tend to my Houston friendships and make new ones. I want to take full advantage of everything our adopted hometown has to offer.

I resolve to cross off at least 10 Bossy List items.
Because it's fun!

I resolve to ask for what I want in my career.
Let 2012 be the year I stop expecting opportunities to fall in my lap, although it sure is lovely when they do.

I resolve to make my health a priority.
Exercise, vegetables, flossing, etc. I'm in my 30s now—I can't think of a good excuse not to (and believe me, I'm trying).

I resolve to spend my precious free time in ways that make me happy and invigorated.
More exploration, less Hulu.


What's on your big, no-fear list this year? 2012, let's do this.

Grüß Gott, 2011!

Last night at 6pm New York time CM and I toasted via Skype, me with a glass of Austrian sparkling pinot noir and he with an Aviation. We toasted to three incredible years together, to many more to come, to 2011, the year of our wedding. In the background I could hear the faint sounds of fireworks exploding for the Viennese New Year.

At 12am New York time CM answered the phone still groggy from sleep. We toasted again, me with a cup of freshly brewed Sleepytime tea and he with his eyes closed, to the year ahead, to each other, to being lucky enough to find happiness. All around me were the deafening blasts of fireworks echoing against the highrises.

No parties, no drinking games, no drunken debauchery. Just the two of us, an ocean apart but celebrating together.

2011 is going to be a big year in the Bossy-Melear household. I have ideas and plans swirling around in my head, not quite ready to be articulated. I won't call them resolutions, per se, since the word carries with it certain failure, but I just might use the occasion of the new year to set a few goals.

During my annual year-end reckoning, I started thinking about little habits and activities I've done this year that have contributed immensely to my overall happiness. Rather than focus only on fresh starts, I want to make sure I recognize the things that work and stick to them. So in 2011, I will continue to • bring a full water bottle to rehearsal • write a good night email to CM every night we're not together • wash my makeup off before I go to bed • send books I enjoy to my mother • always bring my camera • make my bed in the morning • floss • wear earrings • read magazines on my free days.

I'm also, against my better judgment, trying a 365 project again, and CM's on board to do it, too (which has already prompted much jealousy on my part, and he's only posted 1 picture so far).

I spent the first day of 2011 doing whatever I wanted to, including a walk through Central Park, The Illusionist at the Paris with My Gay Husband (all is forgiven), and a leisurely night at home in my pjs. I think it bodes well for the rest of the year, don't you?


The blizzard happened less than a week ago, but in my neighborhood most of the actual snow is gone, leaving behind only a slushy, dirty mess and cranky pedestrians. In the park, however, there's still lots of snow left, with children playing and tourists gamely tromping through the fields. That won't last long, though; after today's high temps and tomorrow's forecasted rain, I doubt very much that this melty snowman family will survive the weekend.

1/365 (take 2)

Buongiorno, 2010
Bonjour, 2009

The sweet smell of failure

I recently read The Happiness Project and was completely inspired by it. The author, Gretchen Rubin, dedicated 1 year to being happier, not by traveling the world or uprooting her life, but rather by making small daily changes. She read up on happiness theories both academic and popular, did a bunch of soul searching, and came up with her 1-year plan, which involved dedicating each month to a different aspect of her life, such as Energy, Marriage, Work, and Parenthood. For each category she made a series of specific goals and tried to achieve them throughout the month.

For me, the greatest thing about the book is that becoming mindful and making all those little changes actually made Rubin happier. I love the idea that we are masters of our own happiness, that we have the power to be happier simply by willing it so and taking steps to make our own happiness a higher priority. So, being the extremely suggestible person I am, of course I decided to start a project of my own. I knew that for me it wasn't realistic to set goals a full year in advance, but I thought going month by month was definitely doable. I decided April should be HEALTH & FITNESS month, and I made some specific goals to help me through it:

1) Exercise 6 days a week.
2) Eat fruit and/or vegetables at every meal.
3) Cook 1 new recipe per week.
4) Schedule all overdue doctor and dentist appointments.
5) Spend some time outside every day the weather is nice.
6) Try 1 new exercise class or routine per week.

These seem like reachable, realistic goals, don't they? Nothing hugely drastic, no deprivation-style diets or boot camp workouts. Just simple steps to improve my health and fitness. Still, I had a feeling that if I wasn't accountable to anyone, I might fall off the wagon, so I enlisted Mama Bossy to do the project with me, with her own specific goals. We agreed to email each other every day with a report on how the day had gone as far as our goals were concerned.

If I'm being generous, I would say we made it 10 days. That's how long we kept emailing each other, anyway. I won't speak for Mama Bossy, but as for me, I completely failed at this project. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, but I'm disappointed that even after setting myself up for success in every way I could think of, I still didn't have the willpower or the sticktoitiveness or whatever you want to call it to plan something and then actually follow through. If you were to look back through the archives of this blog, you will find countless times that I've outlined grand ambitions, especially in the arena of eating well and exercising, only to fail miserably after a few days. And there are many more examples that I've never even written about.

I wish this trait was restricted to exercise and eating right—surely everyone has trouble with those, right? But if I'm honest with myself, I know that the lack of follow-through is a pattern that pervades the rest of my life, too. I don't send out my résumé to new companies, or return phone calls and emails from friends, or stick to my budget. Half a dozen unfinished knitting projects are sitting in my closet. The corners of dozens of Cooking Light pages have been folded down and then never looked at again. I've owned a domain name for over a year and never done anything with it. And when I went through my books for the Great Purge, I realized there were 15 or 20 I had bought but never read.

On the other hand, today I went to the gym. And ate vegetables at lunch. And blogged.

So that's something.

Buongiorno, 2010

It's very trendy this year to not make resolutions, since everyone knows that they're impossible to keep, and who wants to set themselves up for failure, am I right? Except I can't help but be hopeful about the start of a new year, especially when it's also the start of a new decade, and although I might not be making any "resolutions" per se, I have been inspired to make some changes.

Our New Year's Eve was pretty meh, just the two of us on the couch in our pjs, watching The Hangover and Season 3 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and half-heartedly playing drinking games. On the bright side, neither of us were hung over the next day, so we could spend New Year's Day being very, very productive.

We've been talking about The Great Purge of 2010 for a while. The situation is this: CM moved into this apartment in February with all his stuff. Then I moved in a month later with all my stuff. Three months later, we both left for the summer, and I have just now gotten back. The result is that the apartment was in chaos, especially our second bedroom, which became a dumping ground for all the stuff that didn't have any place to live. Which was a lot. It was making us both anxious and (among other factors, like heat that doesn't work, walls made of cotton candy, and no closet space) causing us to hate our apartment.

What better day than the first of the year to tackle a project like that? We went through it all, taking bags and bags of trash to the dumpster, setting aside crates of books to sell, and filling bags and bags to take to the Salvation Army. We're not finished, but I already feel like the GP of '10 is doing its magic—I'm feeling better already. The only thing that would have made it more satisfying is a paper shredder.

CM and I are also making some lifestyle changes for our own health and happiness. By the end of Christmas we both felt like big fat pigs (pizza and ribs on Christmas Eve (CM's family tradition), a roast on Christmas, huge pancake breakfasts, and countless pieces of candy will do that), so we started a diet on Dec 28. One week in, I think I can speak for both of us that it's going great. The diet is a simple one: don't eat things that are bad for you. We're making the rules up as we go along, but it involves a lot more meal planning, a lot less eating out, and mostly just a more mindful approach to what we put in our bodies. We're coupling that with a new exercise schedule: CM's doing his own thing, and I'm going to a personal trainer 3 times a week. And, of course, the dance lessons. We had our first one already, and I was shocked by what a workout it was.

On top of all that I have a few other goals, too: 1) Get much better at French before my next project which starts in a month, 2) Stop stressing out about work prospects for '10-'11, 3) Get cracking on the pile of books I want to read, 4) Keep in better contact with friends who are elsewhere, 5) See my family more, 6) Plan another European adventure, and 7) Try new things.

I don't think that's too ambitious for one year, do you?