In her own words:
For most of my adult life I have chosen to associate the word clutch only with women's fashion. Who wouldn't?! Happy images of dancing strapless handbags are infinitely better than their automotive counterpart. Thinking of clutch in THAT context might lead to words such as stick, shift and the inevitable Transmission...a vocabulary that translates into inadequacy and shortcoming for the solely Automatic driver---aka ME! It's a weakness I have long suppressed in shame, but I've always known it would eventually rear its ugly head and war would be waged.
As it turns out, the perfect comrade for said battle was found in my pedicure partner, fellow yogini, and tennis trainer: LMB. Two lessons, approximately 45 minutes each, and I was well on my way to conquering a lingering fear of adulthood. With supreme patience she guided me through the multi-tasking maze of gas, clutch, and gear shift---graciously refraining from counting the number of panicked stalls that occurred in the process. (There was one particular left turn across traffic that I'm sure she'll always think on fondly). Lesson #2 introduced the concept of Reverse, and that school parking lot probably still doesn't know what hit it. Along with teaching me how to drive, LMB also enabled me to travel through time. Yes, she's that talented. For two glorious sessions I was 15 again, and equally ecstatic learning to drive this time around.
THE TEST: A little over a week after my Driver's Ed course, I arrived in Moscow---the motivation behind my rapid education. My second day in the city I was given an atlas, the keys to my host's MANUAL Volvo, and well wishes. That day may have potentially been the longest of my life, but I survived my first manual trip on a freeway, severe traffic jams, and more than 2 hours of commuting with only an occasional stall or two, all courtesy of LMB. Throughout my month with a Manual I was praising my mentor daily and it is with great pleasure that I now recommend her to you, the Internet populace. Her List is long, but examine it carefully! LMB just might hold the key to alleviating your automotive anxiety equivalent!
So, what do you say, dear readers? I could use a new dose of motivation for my List—maybe we could help each other...
For now, though:
I remember MY stick shift driving lesson with LMB [before she was LMB]. She wasn't that patient with me - she kicked me out of the car after 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteAnd ... I was the teacher.
I have no idea what you are talking about, none at all.
ReplyDeleteToo hilarious for words!
ReplyDeletePerfect comedy with a tag line that surprises and elates.