I've been struggling with what to write here, trying to seek out inspiration that's neither detaily work description (verboten) nor mopey CameraMan love letter (gag). I'm not finding it easy (obvs).
Monday was my birthday, my 29th. Most years I make a big fuss about my birthday, reminding everyone within earshot that it's coming up the minute the calendar page flips to October, treating myself to a present, and throwing a shindig of some sort. This year felt different, and not just because I knew I'd be spending 12+ hours at work on the day. Frankly, I had a bad attitude, about my birthday and about my life. I've developed an unattractive whine in the past month, I can hear it, and with it apparently comes the tendency to burst into tears over nothing (thankfully not at work yet, although I suppose I could always blame it on Puccini).
I'm not looking for sympathy, I promise, because I'm actually the happiest I've ever been in my life. My career is going swimmingly, I get to marry the love of my life and the best friend I could imagine, and on top of that, I live in VIENNA! I have absolutely nothing about which to whine or weep, I know, just 64 days until I next see CM in 3-D, and 87 days until I'm back home in my favorite city, snuggling on the couch with the Bossy Cat.
Sadly, it seems that perspective is no match for my bad attitude, so October 11 dawned with only a hint of that familiar birthday excitement. Somehow, though, throughout the day my attitude changed. It probably helped that I kept my expectations extremely low, but the day was so much better than I thought it would be. I woke up to digital gifts in my inbox (the people who love me remember the Great Purge of '10), squeezed in a quick Anthropologie trip before I had to go to work (my new birthday top—you like?), and when I got to work at 11 there were gorgeous flowers from CM, a daisy plant and a cake from Little Ms. Hardcore, and lots of hugs, cards, and "Happy birthdays" from my friends and colleagues. I got taken out to lunch and to dinner, and as a special surprise, the entire cast and chorus of Butterfly sang to me onstage. It probably won't go down in history as the best birthday of all time, but it was lovely and loving. If I couldn't be with CM, I'm so glad I got to be in Houston, surrounded by great friends and glorious opera.
I woke up Tuesday feeling better than I have in a while. A dose of perspective hadn't worked, but I guess a dose of birthday did. Which is not to say the whine has disappeared completely, but it does seem to be on its way out (thank goodness).
And with my new attitude comes new blog inspiration (I hope!). I realized I actually have a backlog of things to write about: 3(!) list items crossed off without telling you, Vienna pictures languishing on my camera, and the return of Home on the Road. I need to get back on the horse, and I'm starting today.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
LinkWithin
Posts
Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the best birthdays happen organically, and when you can't be with your loved ones, it does help to be surrounded by friends.
One of the best birthdays recently spent was with a company I've worked for years, and I got a Wagnerian "Happy Birthday" serenade from my Das Rheingold cast at the post-opening party.
I'm amazed at your ability to be with it "the way it is". Of course, you're going to have that sort of unhappiness hanging in the air. You're so happy with your darling in Vienna that anything else is a serious adjustment! And yet, you're having it be the way it is with such honesty and elegance. You're making it all work toward your vision and intentions. And that's as good as it gets!
ReplyDelete